It is time for me to share my story about what happened to my Daughter, Lyla June. The good, the bad and the ugly truth. You’ve probably heard it from my friends and family, maybe my ex in his own words, acquaintances or the bits and pieces I have shared over the last two years. This post is not to bash any doctors, or to place blame on anyone, but to really bring awareness of this silent killer many people may not be aware of. I have felt compelled and inspired by many women to finally share my story.
I’ve wrote this and rewrote this so many times….I have finally come to a point where I can share my story and maybe help someone else in a similar situation. I will go ahead and add a “trigger warning” because this story is brutally honest and, for some, may be hard to read. For some it may bring you hope, may bring you fear, may even bring some tears but it is something that should be shared and awareness brought too. This post will be long so please bear with me through it, and you are allowed to share this and ask questions.
Babies die for all different reasons, some reasons are known and some are unknown. The reason for my baby girl dying is honestly something that has never been fully explained to me by a doctor. They can “speculate” and try to come up with scientific reasons (even though there was none) but none of them want to admit that an IUD was the cause. Which I wholeheartedly believe.
In 2018, 6 weeks after I gave birth to my son I had the Mirena IUD placed as a birth control method. A few weeks later I began having the same pregnancy symptoms that I had with my son so I took a test and there showed up two pink lines. I was terrified, shocked, fearful, and so many other emotions overcame me when I saw the positive test. I was also overwhelmed by love and happiness, knowing that I would get to feel the same love I have for my son, for a new baby. I immediately made an appointment with my doctor so that the IUD could be removed.
At my appointment when they were performing the ultrasound the Sonographer said that she could not find the IUD. She brought the doctor in and they could not find it either. Once again, overcome by so many different emotions (don’t forget I’m still 6 weeks postpartum and going through a very large hormonal shift) I was told that my IUD either fell out without me knowing or it perforated my uterus and was floating around in my abdomen and there was “nothing they could do” until after the baby was born.
Nothing they could do. Nothing? It’s these moments you look back and wonder what more could have been done, what more should have been done, what measures could have been taken to figure out what happened and if the outcome would have been any different. I was told I had nothing to worry about, that they’ve seen this happen to other women and they have a perfectly healthy baby and anything bad happening was a “1 in a million” chance. I was reassured by highly trained professionals that me and my baby, would be fine.
August 16th 2018, almost 18 weeks pregnant at this time and I was at work when I started to feel…off, I knew something did not feel right and next thing I know I went to the bathroom and I had liquid leaking down my leg, but it was not blood. I did not break my water naturally with my son so I had not experienced this before. I called my doctor because it was getting worse and I was told to immediately come in. I go and while in the office my water completely breaks and at this point I am on the floor, in tears. They perform an ultrasound and I am told that there is no more amniotic fluid surrounding my daughter. At this point I am told that she will die and is too small to be kept alive by any machines. I am given two options 1. I can go to the hospital and be induced and give birth to her or 2. I can go home and pass her within a few days but this option had a high risk of infection. So I chose option 1 and was admitted into the hospital that afternoon. I was given the pill to be induced and within the hour started having contractions.
Now here is the beautiful part in all of this. I asked the nurses if they could monitor her heart rate because I wanted to know if she was still alive before I gave birth to her. They all asked me if I was “sure” or if I really wanted to know and I said yes, because I knew God had her and me and I knew that she was still alive. When they put the monitor on my stomach and I heard her heartbeat, I can’t tell you the feeling of peace and love that I had overcome me. When I was having the contractions and refused to push and was crying and screaming out to God to wake me up from this nightmare, I knew she would be born alive. And she was. Lyla was born and her tiny body was placed on my chest and I held her for the next 45 minutes until she passed. My baby was born with a heartbeat and held knowing nothing but love for her entire life.
Moments after her birth when the placenta came, the doctor showed me that the IUD was embedded into the placenta. I asked my doctor, “Is that what caused this?” and she could not give me a definite answer other than, “we will send it off to pathology and see if there were any underlining issues” (which there was not). The doctor did go back and review all of the previous ultrasound pictures and never could find any evidence of the IUD in them. My daughter has a death certificate and stated on there as the primary cause of death was placenta abruption and then the Mirena IUD was listed as a secondary cause of death….take of that what you will…
Before these questions start to arise, yes I did seek out legal assistance and had a wonderful lawyer who tried so hard for me and my daughter. I had other professionals look over all of my personal files as well but unfortunately, and to save me from a lot of emotional turmoil, there was not much that could be done in the end because of having “no way” to prove the IUD was 100% the cause of my daughter’s death in a court of law.
For a long time I blamed myself, I blamed myself for not seeking other professional opinions, I blamed myself for trusting my doctors so much, for not asking more questions and demanding answers, and so on. I can promise you I am very much past the blaming myself stage. But after that stage came the blaming of my doctors, the nurses, the Mirena IUD manufacturers and God. But, after the last two years and learning that there is no one person to blame for this tragic event, I do believe that it is important, and my duty now, to bring awareness to this silent killer. I am not the first woman this has happened too.
Ladies, please, I beg you to look into other birth control options. Do not let doctors, other professionals, or other people dictate what you put inside of YOUR body. Do not let them bully you because I know how doctors just swear by these IUD’s and how they say they are great for you. Do your research, remember my story (because I never want to see another woman experience this), and advocate for yourself and voice your opinions.
So you all know, I am at peace with what happened. It took some time to get to that place but I am here and I am happy. Thank you for reading my story, if you even made it this far, and thank you for advocating with me. Please, if you have any questions you may ask me and I can answer and talk more about this experience with anyone who may need it. Thank you and God bless you and God bless all of the babies on Earth and in Heaven.
Submitted on September 18, 2020