This is so insane! I’ve dealt with depression for 8 years now! I never put 2 and 2 together since my depression and anxiety started at 16 years old. Between 2012 and 2014, I got pregnant with my baby girl and had her in January 2015. The first thing my mom says is, “get the IUD, it works, I had it,” so I listened. They said no periods for 3 years, so I was like, “hell yeah!” When 2018 came, it was time to switch.
Mind you, I never linked my depression to the hormonal IUD since I was already depressed. I suffer from anxiety and PTSD from trauma I endured throughout my whole childhood. Therapy was frowned upon in my family, they never supported the idea, so I never got it in that timeframe. I just figured I couldn’t get over it.
In 2018, I got the copper IUD since I didn’t want to stop my body from reproducing, and of course, you can get it for 8 years! So I did. I read up on copper toxicity today, May 24, 2023, fresh out of rehab from three suicidal episodes since January.
I cried every single day since 2022. I slept my days away from 2019 to 2022. I just didn’t have the energy. I got called lazy, etc. Everyone got tired of me crying so much, I would cry literally day and night. On my way to family events, meetings, anywhere! I just didn’t know why I couldn’t get over it!
I started therapy this year finally, and it helped in some aspects, but my emotions just wouldn’t sit still. I’d do things out of character due to my anxiety, not being able to control my impulsive reactions to multiple situations. My rational thought was never there, I just figured it was the way I acted and needed help.
None of my doctors that I’ve seen throughout the years ever mentioned anything about the copper IUD. I’m assuming due to the horror stories that I had from my trauma was enough for them to validate my symptoms, so I’d start antidepressants, then just get off them. I’m a naturalist and don’t believe in the whole being on them your whole life—it’ll mess me up more!
So after my major episodes and rehab, I came home on May 21, 2023. I saw my boyfriend, and he goes, “I’m ready,” and I was like, “don’t lie,” because I’ve been wanting a baby, I was just waiting on him. My appointment was set for a pap-smear on May 24, 2023. Today!
So I tell them to take it out. The wild part is, I couldn’t get my women’s exam because I’m on my period, and this year they started lasting 7 days! Yes, I’m yelling, because it all makes sense. As soon as they take it out, I felt like a brick lifted off my abs. I had a tummy tuck, so I just figured my abs were hard because I work out and fixed my abdominal wall 3 years ago. No, my stomach feels normal.
On my way home, it just made me think, why did I feel relief? So I start looking up side effects and find nothing. I scroll down and find this page! I start reading and just notice how I don’t feel how I did a couple of hours ago, which was sad. I balled the day I got home. Suddenly I’m not as clingy, which I usually am!
Before I read up on this, I took a step back to ask myself how I feel, and I feel normal! The thoughts I will always have, a million per second, are gone! Silence. Like I feel good for the first time in 10 plus years. I’m 27, started birth control at 19. I’m disappointed that all of this could’ve been avoided, and there are women out there who are going through the same thing.
I really just feel like it was God. I’ve been praying so much and trying to use my coping skills that my therapist trained me to do. If my boyfriend would have never said he wanted a baby, I would’ve kept it for 3 years longer! This should be on the label, everyone should be warned.
The past 8 years have been the shittiest years. I truly was just accepting things as they are, now I was forcing myself to look at the brighter side and accept that I needed to change my ways. I was never a bad person, my intentions were so pure, yet everyone around me claimed I was this monster who was selfish. I almost killed myself, y’all, 3 times this year.
To find out that it could’ve done more damage if I kept it breaks my heart. The periods were getting longer, and that’s when my symptoms got worst with my mood swings and anxiety. No telling what was yet to come if I never removed it today! I’m relieved mentally. I feel better knowing that I wasn’t messed up like everyone said. They kept telling me I needed help.
I self-medicated with street pills to try and cope with Xanax, and it took me down a dark road. Please go take that out, no birth control is good. Save yourself. Tell your lover to get snipped. We suffer too much to try and be the ones who get on contraceptives to save everyone else. Please remove it, let the body cycle naturally, it’s not worth it!
Submitted on: 2023/05/25
